IMPORTANT
STEPS ON THE JOURNEY:
Self-love and Self-forgiveness
| “Growth
is what life is about. And we must realize that when we’re beginners
in any new phase or activity, especially in something as difficult
as the art of selflove, we must be willing to learn step-by-step,
experience-by-experience. Otherwise it’s too easy to fall into
the popular way of thinking that there should be an easy answer, or
that self-love can be a change in attitude rather than a journey.
All too often we try to make ourselves think love should be easy,
even exhilarating, because we’ve lost our ability to see that
our dedication to a great work is rewarding no matter how challenging.
Inner work is noble work and I’ve compared it to constructing
a great cathedral or temple, a work that begins with building a solid
foundation, and continues as we patiently add piece after piece. At
the same time it has an ambitious design in mind, a purpose that combines
work and beauty, and in this way it reaches beyond ourselves toward
the heavens.” (pg. 274) |
9. Cultivating self-love is an important part of the journey.
Self-love involves knowing ourselves, learning to accept and deal
with what we discover.
Consider this
beautiful image of building a great cathedral or temple reaching to the
heavens. Find several pictures of cathedrals or temples. Spend some quiet
time with these pictures pondering their beauty, all the years of planning,
hard labor, difficulties and challenges that went into them.
What is your
vision for building your life of substance and self-love?
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What about
the cathedral or temple of your life? What is your design? How will you
implement this design? Do you have a firm foundation?
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Are you willing to risk the hard work of learning and growing? Are you
willing to take the time to pay attention, listen and reflect? _________________________
How might
compassion, acceptance of all parts of ourselves, and embracing our fears
be needed for cathedral or temple building?
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Why is self-forgiveness
important?
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In order to build a life cathedral or temple of substance, which includes
self-knowledge and self-love, you must be willing to identify your needs,
your hurts, your fears, your feelings and deprivations that have been
driving you. Make a list in the spaces below:
NEEDS:
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HURTS OR WOUNDS:
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FEARS:
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FEELINGS AND
EMOTIONS:
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DEPRIVATIONS:
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How has your
vision of life, the cathedrals or temples you’re building, changed
as you have been exploring these ideas?
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10.
More about learning to love yourself: Loving yourself means knowing
there are parts you do not like, parts you are afraid of, parts you keep
imprisoned. You are a complex person containing all human potentials.
(pg. 278)
Spend some
time reflecting on the complex person you are by exploring:
Parts of me
I do not like:
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Parts of me
of which I am afraid:
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Parts of me
I keep imprisoned:
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How can you
break free from the influences in your past that prevented you from accepting
some of the parts of your complex self that you have listed above?
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As you explored
the parts of yourself above, what feelings and emotions were you aware?
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Were the emotions
strong?
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Where did
you feel them in your body?
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What keeps you from experiencing emotions or feelings?
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Explore more
fully the part fear plays.
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REFLECT ON
FEELINGS AS THEY OCCUR
BY JOURNALING AND DIALOGUING OR GIVING
EXPRESSION TO THEM THROUGH USING ANY ART
MATERIAL YOU MAY HAVE ON HAND. USING ART
MATERIAL IN THIS WAY IS A WAY OF ALLOWING THAT
PART OF YOU EXPRESSION WITHOUT USING WORDS.
IT ISN’T ABOUT BEING AN ARTIST.
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