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Copyright
by C.T.B. Harris, Ph.D.
Published by SPES, Inc.
31 College Place, Suite D203
Asheville, NC 28801
Phone & Fax: (828) 251-9719
Introduction
to the Sacred Selfishness Workbook
Notes From the Journey
Manual For the Journey of Building a Life of Substance:
Beginning the Journey
Tools and Friends for the Journey
Embracing Unknown Forces Along the Way
Important Steps on the Journey:
Self-love and Self-forgiveness
More Steps on the Journey:
Awakening and Relationships
The Journey: Choosing Life
Opening the Door to Self-love
One Day at a Time
“A
projection is when
we see some feature of
ourselves that we’ve
disowned in someone
else. When the contents
of our shadows remain
unconscious we’ll see
them all around us in
other people....
Projections are a natural,
unavoidable process and
are not a pathological
problem that needs to
be cured. We can’t stop
them, control them, or
predict what they will
fall on. But we can
learn to see them as a
great way to learn more
about ourselves; like a
periscope that can see
around corners and
over barriers, they can
help us discover things
about ourselves that are
usually walled off. Yet,
if we fail to spot them
they can get us into
conflict after conflict.”
(pg. 264) |
| “In
our reflections it’s helpful to remember that any experience
of the shadow results in uncommonly strong feelings. Strong resentment,
intense anger, repugnance, contempt, revulsion, and loathing live
close to shadow territory. So do the more positive feelings of deference,
intense admiration, and adoration.” (pg. 261) |
|
EMBRACING
THE UNKNOWN FORCES
ALONG THE WAY
| “Generally
when we
talk and read about the
shadow (the other
voice), we think of its
being our darker side,
and therefore dangerous.
Perhaps it is because we
repress so much of our
energy into it. But it
also becomes easy to
forget how much of
our positive potential
it contains. The process
of becoming our own
person begins with
finding out about this
shadow, for that is
the only way we can
learn about the molds
that shaped our
development. (pg. 244) |
8. “The
journey into wholeness means we have to learn to respect the other voice
that speaks within us. It means to pay attention to our emotions, thoughts,
dreams and fantasies even when they’re unpleasant and objectionable.”
(pg. 249)
Reflect for
a few moments on the “I” that you are. Examples: I am active.
I am shy. I was taught to always be polite. Using the space below, make
a list of 10 “I” statements that have shaped your character/identity.
Later you can continue with more.
1.__________________________________________________
2.__________________________________________________
3.__________________________________________________
4.__________________________________________________
5.__________________________________________________
6.__________________________________________________
7.__________________________________________________
8.__________________________________________________
9.__________________________________________________
10.__________________________________________________
Now, consider
the exact opposite of each “I” statement and write them below.
Examples:
I am lazy. I am outgoing and never meet a stranger. There are times I
am abrasive.
1.__________________________________________________
2.__________________________________________________
3.__________________________________________________
4.__________________________________________________
5.__________________________________________________
6.__________________________________________________
7.__________________________________________________
8.__________________________________________________
9.__________________________________________________
10.__________________________________________________
How are you
repressing the opposite of the identities you have learned to value or
not value? List 5 examples. (For instance: I drive myself with self-criticism
when I think I’m being lazy.)
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
What are ways
you are living a one-sided life?
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
What about
other sides that you have repressed in the SHADOW? Consider the amount
of energy it takes to keep the other sides repressed. Frequently we “project”
the repressed contents in our shadows.
With your
new awareness of projections, look back at your list of 10 character identities
and their opposites. Who among your friends, family members, coworkers
and acquaintances have these characteristics? Write the names after each
statement. Feelings, especially strong, intense feelings help you become
clearer about your shadow and the way you project shadow material. (For
example: If I wrote “I am active,” I might name my friend
Judy as an energetic person I identify with. Under opposites, if I wrote
“lazy,” I might list my brother-in-law, Brad, who I think
is a slug.)
Go back to
the above and get in touch with any strong feelings you may have as you
are writing “I” statements, and as you are identifying others
with the same characteristics. Write your feelings after each statement.
(For example: I might write “admire” by Judy’s name
and “disgusting” by Brad’s.)
Often these
strong feelings and the statements you make about yourself or others are
revealing parts of your shadow. What are you learning about your shadow?
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
How might
you be more complete and have more available energy as you explore, confront,
understand, refine and integrate some of your shadow characteristics?
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
Don’t
forget dream figures and personal reflection in journal writing
are useful methods in exploring shadow territory.
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